Thursday, July 19, 2012

Exploding normality...

I will never feel safe or pain free, at least not until I die. I don't understand why others think that I'm beneath them and can dominate me. WOW! life is so painful; it's so finite; it's so UNBEARABLE!

And others say there is no normal??? Sure... Okay, let me put it this way. I wouldn't mind a life that BORING. Too much drama in mine - just would like BORING! Maybe the way would be to keep away from my neighbors.

Gee, my upstairs neighbor always draws the cops here, constantly gets in fights with people he brings over, has been arrested many times, doesn't put money in for the dryer, brings unknown people over here, has been robbed, BUT Mean Marlene loves him - he does not scare her. PRETZEL LOGIC for sure.

I'm not perfect by any means, but I take out the trash cans when Mean Marlene asks me and even when she doesn't sometimes, I try to be as quiet as possible, pay for my dryer loads, give her dogs treats, play with them, walk them occasionally, give her part of the flowers I buy, and I generally do my best to be respectful and nice to her. BUT I scare her and she accuses me of things I don't do. DOES NOT COMPUTE! NOPE...


Okay, it will take a while for this to go away, but it will...Just don't think I'll ever feel safe while I'm alive. Thank God I have God, Jesus, & Sasha...

3 comments:

Geo. said...

My alarms are up here. If you feel you are being exploited, bullied, or just bothered by neighbors, there are resources available. Your excellent 4/30 post and photos show a substantial church. I don't know what denomination it is, doesn't matter. Make an appointment for pastoral counseling. Church is more than organ music and somebody in there has dedicated his or her life to easing others' pain. Excuse me for being forward, but it's a start.

Michelle said...

Hi Geo, it's a progressive Congregational church. I haven't been able to make it there because of various reasons. No, my landlady is just, I'm not sure how to say it, but she's just mean. She is not the best example of a Christian there is, but fortunately, I have others in my life who are better examples. I'm just going through a difficult time in so many areas of my life. You're not forward; I appreciate your concern.

Geo. said...

And now we're beginning a new year, Michelle. I think of you and miss your writing. I wish you all the best and hope things have worked out.